Forecast: FEMA Can Suck my AE Zoned Ass

Today found us at our lovely local zoning board to determine if the mortgage company was just blowing smoke up our asses. About an hour later and we were assured that we had indeed been rezoned as being in an AE flood zone. Why? Because some engineer/surveyor from FEMA says so. Don't they have a fucking levy to worry about bringing up to code?


I agree with this former resident of New Orleans...

Fuck FEMA. Basically we found out that we could hire an engineer personally and just maybe we'd get lucky and be found just inches above the flood zone. But an engineer there at the zoning board took about forty-five minutes assessing all the little nooks and crannies that is our neighborhood and said it would be highly unlikely that another engineer would make a different finding.

Why are we suddenly in a flood zone? Other than the obvious fact that FEMA are some stupid son of a bitches? All the new construction going on behind our home. That little "creek" that runs by our townhouse is actually run off from the parking lots of businesses. Although we were told that any new businesses constructed are not allowed to put more water into that run off than what was previously coming off of that property before they were there. So my question is still WTF happened that suddenly deems it necessary that we pay $1200 more a year?

Thanks to FEMA for fucking me up the ass and not even having the common courtesy to give me the reach around. How hard is it going to be to sell a house that's in a flood zone? I'm going to pay for insurance for an event that is likely to happen "once in a hundred years" according to those rat bastards. So essentially I'm going to pay for nothing. I hope it's tax deductible because that is the only silver lining I can see at this point.

You know how your home insurance policy gives you a little money off for having fire extinguishers in your house? I wonder if I should invest in a canoe and life jackets.

So here we are, up shit creek without a paddle, but with some damn good flood insurance in the forecast.


Yup... I think we'll have at least one thing in common with residents of New Orleans when we finally move there.