"Monomorium minimum"... aka Antus Annoyus

I so look forward to the arrival of spring. Things I love about spring:

1) Throwing open the windows to enjoy the cool air before the humidity rolls in.

2) Grilling out. (Although I am one of those crazy people that is known to be out there in the dead of winter because I've got a hankering for a charbroiled hunk o' cow. This winter that was kind of out because we discovered the White Devil... aka Roo... likes to play with charcoal... Try and find charcoal in the dead of winter. Charcoal stash depleted meant no grilled goodness to combat the gloom that is winter.)

3) I can look forward to some honest to goodness tomatoes that are not genetically engineered. This year I WILL plant some tomatoes and try my damnedest to keep the dogs out of them. If I have to construct an electric fence to protect my Beefsteaks then so be it.

4) Hikes and walks in the park with the mutts. Plus camping season is upon us. This year I will break out the tents and enjoy a cold one by the river.

5) Flip flops, sandals and tank tops.

6) No more snow. I was born in the wrong climate and detest the stuff. I belong in a balmy climate with an Abita in my hand.

But with the onset of spring also comes my arch nemesis. They come marching in first one by one... and then the whole colony moves in. Fucking Ants.

The Foolish One feels me on this one. No matter how clean you keep your kitchen the pests still pour in through every crack and crevice and somehow manage to find the few crumbs that you've missed.

The fact that we have two dogs (one of which is stupid and licks everything imaginable) and a cat who thinks that everything is to be pushed off the counter kind of makes it hard to combat the ants. No ant traps because the cat plays with them. Apparently they are fascinating as the ants march in and he can't resist playing hockey with them. But then they end up on the floor and next thing ya know the dogs are fighting over this special little treat they've found. Sprays are out... because we have a stupid dog who licks everything. Dude, if it smells like poison you probably shouldn't do that.

So last year I did a little search online for some natural remedies to combat the little black pests. I had great success with ground cinnamon and mint mixed together. I then place this along the threshold of the back door and the kitchen window in mass quantities. Upside? Seems that cinnamon is the ONE thing Roo won't lick. He thought about it. But every time his nose gets close he sneezes :)

I meant to do this earlier today, having woke up to find the counters swarmed with ants. I promptly washed down the walls with vinegar and water then cleaned the countertops and made sure there was not a crumb to be had. My efforts were undone when the Punk Monkey made himself a peanut butter sandwich and left tiny morsels on the countertops. Swarmed again. Another good cleaning and then we left to go visit with my Granny A.

Mack got to meet my grandmother for the very first time today. He got to meet her... and then listen to her talk. Because that is what one does when you visit Granny. You listen and if you time it just right (like in between the occassional breath she takes... it's subtle and only the experienced can discern when she is taking in air), you might actually get a couple of words in. Mostly we just listened. Although Mack was the one who showed her the wedding pics. He has no clue how much that won her over. The woman loves three things in life: her family, pictures, and her plethora of dishes and glassware.

In fact, I think we heard a 30 minute glib about the black table cloth she has had for years but was waiting for a pair of black curtains because she likes to have her curtains match her tablecloth and she finally found a pair of black curtains that she likes and she hung those up and put on the tablecloth with the black napkins and placemats and also a table runner that is black with some gold worked in (inhales slightly here) and that it looks real nice and how she used her Thanksgiving dishes at Thanksgiving but she has a really nice set of dishes that Richard and Shirley got her with gold around the edges but none of her girls like to use those because you have to handwash those in account of the gold around the edges and the girls just don't like to wash dishes but she had even volunteered to wash the dishes if they used them because even though she washed a lot of dishes when she was a young girl she doesn't mind washing them and its a shame that they won't ever let her use those dishes because they are really pretty and she has all the matching pieces including the sugar bowl, creamer, salt and pepper shakers, gravy boat, meat platter and she just loves those dishes (takes breath).

Yes that was the run on sentence from hell but I'm illustrating a point. Granny talks a lot and it is difficult to get a word in edgewise. We love her dearly for it.

A quick bite to eat and we came home... to discover my attack on the ant infestation has not gotten any better even with the thorough cleaning. So, I promptly broke out my cinnamon shaker and emptied out about half the contents onto the threshold and the window sill. I then added the rest of my mint flakes.

Hopefully we will awaken in the morning and find that the ants have not carried us off as we slept. If you don't hear from us in a few days please send help.

XOXOXO
Sweet Tea and Mack